our world unraveled

I am too lazy and drained to type a witty blog right now, so here is the mass email that i sent to all of my peeps this morning in regards to our move to california....

So it was just two weeks before our moving date and a major piece of the plan fell through. So what do we do now? We go back to the drawing board, take a step back and figure out how we can make this work and what our options are if it isn't going to. Brett was actually about to leave for California to look for a place when this happened and so that really brought things to a screeching halt. We are going to just take some time and try to pick up the pieces and make this move happen in the very near future on our terms.

The biggest problem with this situation is that as of the end of the month, we will both be jobless and homeless. We were one foot out the door and now unfortunately left in a very awkward situation. So this leaves us with no "temporary" fix, we can't just put this move on hold for a month or so. We need to start over here first which is going to be difficult due to our hearts not being fully in it.

A friend told me "everything happens for a reason, the right time for this move will come, maybe you just need a bit more prep time". Most times when people say that, I kinda roll my eyes and change the subject. In this situation I am holding on to it with what little strength I have left. We had really put all we had into making this work and this stumbling block has really left me feeling failed and defeated.

So you are all stuck with me for another year. We will be moving into a new place in our neighborhood this weekend. I am about to be jobless so if you know of anyone looking for a nanny, send them my way!! A friend has already filled my Thursdays and Fridays through the summer. That was my plan for CA and i figure why not get moving on it now.I am going to enjoy every minute of having my Bela at home with me!

Yes I am pissed and sad and lost and happy and relieved and optimistic all at once. I hate Cleveland, but I love all of you and that makes it all ok. Although the thought of another Cleveland winter does make the hole in the pit of my stomach ache even more.

Send good thoughts our way, I really need it right now.

#$%#&$*,
Holly