pics to redeem that downer

our world unraveled

I am too lazy and drained to type a witty blog right now, so here is the mass email that i sent to all of my peeps this morning in regards to our move to california....

So it was just two weeks before our moving date and a major piece of the plan fell through. So what do we do now? We go back to the drawing board, take a step back and figure out how we can make this work and what our options are if it isn't going to. Brett was actually about to leave for California to look for a place when this happened and so that really brought things to a screeching halt. We are going to just take some time and try to pick up the pieces and make this move happen in the very near future on our terms.

The biggest problem with this situation is that as of the end of the month, we will both be jobless and homeless. We were one foot out the door and now unfortunately left in a very awkward situation. So this leaves us with no "temporary" fix, we can't just put this move on hold for a month or so. We need to start over here first which is going to be difficult due to our hearts not being fully in it.

A friend told me "everything happens for a reason, the right time for this move will come, maybe you just need a bit more prep time". Most times when people say that, I kinda roll my eyes and change the subject. In this situation I am holding on to it with what little strength I have left. We had really put all we had into making this work and this stumbling block has really left me feeling failed and defeated.

So you are all stuck with me for another year. We will be moving into a new place in our neighborhood this weekend. I am about to be jobless so if you know of anyone looking for a nanny, send them my way!! A friend has already filled my Thursdays and Fridays through the summer. That was my plan for CA and i figure why not get moving on it now.I am going to enjoy every minute of having my Bela at home with me!

Yes I am pissed and sad and lost and happy and relieved and optimistic all at once. I hate Cleveland, but I love all of you and that makes it all ok. Although the thought of another Cleveland winter does make the hole in the pit of my stomach ache even more.

Send good thoughts our way, I really need it right now.



gonna lose it

things are so super crazy in my world right now. this is not good for my already normal anxious state. updates soon, i hope. things need to be figured out within the next week. sorry to be so vague, but i cant even deal with the details right now myself, let alone share them.



this is what happens when a 20 somthing with a barbie collection turns 30 something with a 2 year old!!


rock show

last night joanna and i went to see nada surf at the beachland. holy awesome show, although i am way too old to be out drinking and standing on a concrete floor until 12:30. this is a picture from last night, i kinda like it though despite my glasses.


wonderful week off

bela and i were on vacation last week due to mama chris being on vacation. wonderful! we used this opportunity to head down to cincinnati on saturday to spend time with heather and the gang. we had such a great time!! every day was very busy filled with kidlet activities, lots of walking, good food, lots of wine and tons of quality sister time. bela had a ball too of course with her cousins and neither of us were ready to leave when thursday rolled around.

on thursday night bela and i had a sleepover with meg and bri! meg had to work on friday so i was watching bri for her for the day with bela. kid time was ok, but neither of the girls had a nap so it was pretty painful. after we got them into bed, megs and i made a yummy dinner, some dirty martinis and watched an awful movie. bela and i both slept in the same room, with belas pack n play very near to the end of my bed. at 1 am i awoke to bela trying to climb into my bed. needless to say i didnt sleep much after than because i am was worried she was gonna roll out. so i was no very happy when she woke up at 5:30 and was ready to the start the day!

on friday night we stayed over at my folks and hung out with the ladies k and jen and mike. then on saturday we went to melissas baby shower, despite having no nap (again) bela was a very good girl!

my mom kept bela on saturday night and took her to karons bday party. i headed home (finally after a week!!) to see brett for our anniversary! brett, chris and i went to patricks for his bday party. lots of fun, interesting people, good food, many drinks and a beautiful night out by the pool.

so all in all a great week off!! although it wasnt really relaxing...


on blog vacation

bela and i are in cincinnati for most of the week. mama chris is on vacation so we are too! i should have plenty to write about when we get home. have a great week!